Saturday, January 22, 2011

LETTING GO,

             http://mybrandonphoenix.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/letting-go-by-admitchell08.jpg
   There really does come a time in life, when you probably should let go of all the things that seem so negative in your life and when that happens you feel like such a moron because everyone was right and you were wrong. But that's not everyone's situation. Sometimes you let go of things that people had no idea you were involved with and then its only you and your integrity.
                 I remember when I was little and letting go was the hardest thing for me, like when my mom would throw away my baby doll that I had for years but she was so gross and dirty, or when I was 10 and it was time to go through my clothes and get rid of the ones that didn't fit and I would get so mad at my mom even though half my clothes were really short on me. Or when it came to switch teachers in school and I was so scared to get the mean ones that make you clean your desk every day.
                But now, to let go, its to move on and leave behind the past that you knew for so long, the people that loved you, and the people you thought you might have loved, the pain, the laughter, the tears, the good times that never can be replaced, and move on to something greater that at the time, you see nothing that can replace what you used to have.
              I hate letting go. Always have. Anytime I have to or need to, I feel a sense of betrayal and the thought that what if I never am happy again? Its just one of my trials, maybe my biggest one, because I latch on to anyone and anything so quickly as long as I feel safe. But sometimes those  'safe people' or 'objects', turn out to be the ones that hurt me the most. And when I figure that out, and notice it, that's when letting go just doesn't seem that hard anymore. And once that happens, I am finally in control of my life again.

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